Truthful Tuesday

Truthful Tuesday

Physical pain hurts but if you’re blessed you heal from that.  Emotional pain hurts like hell.  However it only reads its ugly head at the most inopportune times.   

I’ve not been in a serious relationship in a long while.  I’m talking years.  Yes, I’ve been on dates but most of the time I go from zero to being a boyfriend in no time flat.  Moreover, in my attempts to be nice, offering no conflict – my superpower, I get put in the friends zone, A LOT.  I don’t have big muscles (they are in my brain).  I am attractive, look damn good in a suit, but my empathy – another part of my superpowers, lends me to be a great listener.  Add to that I was born partially deaf (my right ear is 85% deaf).  All of this leads to being just “friends”.  I offer zero resistance.  I even have people that I’ve had relations with that only call me when they break up with their current boyfriend.  I love listening and elevating others.  It is why I am a podcaster and a coach, but it lends itself to being in the friends zone a lot.  I know my value, but as it is #truthfulTuesday, I know beneath the layers of my confidence about myself, there is a layer of unworthiness lurking in the shadows. 

The real truth about being friend zoned is not about the woman I am attracted to but truly about myself and my self-worth.  Deep down, truthfully,, it is not quite there yet.  That is very OK as I know I am work in progress.  I am shedding a lot of skin lately and feel more free with my life than I have been in a long time.  My barista job has almost no drama, I’m being treated well, I don’t complain, I love our customers and the biggest thing is I have a set work schedule and 3 days off EVERY WEEK.  This has freed me up.  All that negative energy that I had before is gone, dissipated into the ethers.  I’m so freaking blessed, so this frees up my mental space, my story for my self worth to be built up more and more.  I am very confident in who I am as a human, I am finally confident in my looks and my body.  Now just adding more and more self-worth to the mix and I’ll be just fine!

She’s out there.  I KNOW it.  And I am quietly motivated by all the friends zone rejections over the years.  I am very happy with who I am, where I am at, my living space, my jobs (barista, podcaster, coach), and the loves of my life.  It will unfold in perfect time.  I know it and believe it.

#truthfulTuesday #love #relationships #selfworth #everythougthmatters #podcasting #podcaster #lifecoach #barista