Zero Control

zero control
Life is about no control

The sun rises and sets every day.  It’s something we cannot control.  Stars shine in our night sky.  It takes roughly 4 years for the light of that star to reach us.  This is out of our control.

I’m a calculated risk taker.  I like controlled outcomes.  It’s why I am a good film producer.  In my dating life even I seek controlled outcomes.  Yet, life is what happens when we are busy planning it.

Yesterday is a prime example of control for me. I got falling down drunk, blacked out, safely got home, but I wanted control the whole time. In acting class they taught us to resist the action of being drunk as it is more entertaining seeing someone trying not to be drunk. That was I last night, in front of my dear friends who are family to me. A tight knit family at that.

I seek that control yet; I make choices that fly in the face of it. I am not sure why. Trying to control drinking is truly hilarious. Yet there I was trying to control it. I woke up in the middle of the night wondering what I left in my wake of literally being falling down drunk. I remember not being able to walk very well for some reason.

Yet, as I listen to Abraham Hicks this morning after journaling & meditating about control, a lot, life is all in the letting go of control.

As I continue my journey, I am peeling away these truths about myself, wanting to control people’s perception of me (even when I am drunk no less), controlling how people act and react.   It’s not a good look and yes I am working on it. I am still clinging to my current self, the one I’ve manifested for 53 years. That self is trying to hold on and I am trying to get to Kelly 2.0. All of that resistance is slowly turning to dust. Letting go of control does that for you and I’m championing that for myself.

One last thing: if you are ever in a bad mood, me a lot lately, say “Thank You” 7 times out loud in a row and watch your mood and energy and vibration change.

I am grateful I’ve manifested this dark time in my life as it is teaching me about control, letting go, and flowing through in life.

Much love and peace 🙏

Remember: Change Your Thoughts, Change Your World

What Is Your Money Story

What is the story you tell about money?

I listen to a lot of Law of Attraction (LOA) podcasts, this one in particular, and cull as many nuggets of information that I can.  This is one that comes up for me personally.  This is a story I have had all my life about money.  Listen to number 17 about the power of your story.

As for me, I don’t check my checking account daily or balance it to the penny.  For 25 years I had a lucrative career as a computer programmer.  I never had to check my account as I always had money in there.  If I wanted something, I would get it.

Fast forward to 2014 when that career ended, that’s when the money stopped flowing.  I have been living off retirement (pension, severance package and the sale of my house profits) since.  It is running out.  Coupled with paying taxes on pulling my retirement out of the IRA before the age of 64, I owe taxes.  I have credit card debt too.

You see how this can alter my money story?  It goes from an abundance mindset to a lacking mindset.  My friend a couple of days ago told me this point blank.  She said, “Kelly you are in a lacking mindset”.

With the law of attraction, like attracts like.  So if I am in a lacking mindset, guess what I am going to attract; more lack in my life.  I just got done with my meditation about abundance by Abraham Hicks.  During the meditation I went from a lacking mentality to a fun mentality.  I am now in the mindset as I write this that it is going to be fun to meet these financial obligations.  It’s going to be a fun process and game for me to figure this out in the next chapter of my life.

I currently drive for Lyft and the “money” story I tell myself is that I attract guests (riders).  Last night, I was fading and got a ping for a guest while near Beverly Hills.  I thought I hope this is an airport run.  It was.  My guest was amazing.  As I was getting closer I said to myself I hope a ride I pick up at the airport will take me home.  It took me to Sherman Oaks.  That’s turning your thoughts to things.  That’s telling yourself a story that resonates with the positive.

I know I may swing back to that lack mindset, but I now know how to get to the fun mindset.  Stop.  Slow my breathing and visualize the fun of solving this riddle in the next chapter of my life.

 

Every Thought Isn’t a Social Media Post

Recently I deleted my Facebook and Twitter accounts. I did this on a Sunday morning. It is Saturday as I write this and I had one of the best weeks of 2017 I have ever had. Part of life is reducing clutter for me. Clutter for most means stuff in their houses that they don’t need or as I do, creating piles of papers to go thru or just flat out cleaning house. But clutter is also your mind. All week I have meditated, written in my journal, stood in front of the mirror saying, “I love myself” for 5 minutes and other sacred ways of treating myself. It all has reduced the clutter in my head. I don’t watch the news. I even turned off the Google news feed feature on my phone. Yes, you can do that. It is amazing!

I have had the most amazing week ever and it’s during the holidays. Anyone who knows me is that I usually get holiday depression right around Thanksgiving. For me, to have this amazing week is phenomenal. It is about turning off the social media feed and narrative in my head.

Every thought, every thing you see isn’t a social media post. I have had to turn that impulse addiction in my brain. It has taken a few days but I have. Last night, I was out to watch my friend in his band. I used to check social media and the like, but I put my phone in my back pocket and remembered how it was before the advent of social media. That said, I did post 1 Instagram picture. I personally feel that Instagram is a safe place from the clutter of social media. I usually get inspiration from Instagram.

Moreover, in my journaling I think, whoa I should create a graphic for this. But I don’t. I know what is working for me and it is working on me. I have totally reduced the clutter in my brain. I heard people talking politics on a work phone call; I had to just turn their words off. Not because I didn’t agree with them but because I don’t need that wasted clutter. I choose to be happy!

I pray that someone will read this and understand how to turn off that clutter whether it is social media like me or just a mechanism for turning off that emotional trigger for things. I have had the best week of my life in turning off social media and reducing the clutter in my brain. It has been a truly joyful week and it is continuing, as I am becoming clutter free in my mind and life.

Much love and peace!

Resistance

No I’m not talking about the political stuff that social media justice warriors are tweeting about. I’m talking about resistance within you. Today I had a huge moment where I let go of resistance and the phone rang.

When you remove resistance to what you want, the abundance you seek flows to you. Mine was relatively simple but profound. It changed my energy when that phone rang.

Today, I have an appointment with my ophthalmologist to check the pressure in my eyes and dilate my eyes as well. Always got to keep a tab on the pressure in my eyes as I have glaucoma in my left eye. They can see some damage to the optical nerve in my eye. The optical nerve in your eye is the only nerve in the body that cannot regenerate, or so I am told.

Well today, going into this appointment, I was without one set of my drops for 2 days, so naturally I was concerned about the pressure as I had not used them. The pharmacy had backordered them and I checked on Saturday and Sunday to no avail. I woke up this morning thinking; well I guess it may be high because of the lack of drops. I let go of that thought of worry and I just “let it be” as the Beatles sung. I just let the chips fall where they may.

The phone rang. It was the automated call from the pharmacy that my prescription was ready to pick up. I am very blessed in that I can walk to my pharmacy. I didn’t care what I looked like or anything. I walked there, listened to some Abraham Hicks and I had a spring in my step. I let go of the resistance to outcomes today and there came those drops.

The pressure may or may not be elevated but for me it was a joyful of example of letting go of resistance and abundance flowing my way.

Here’s a postscript to this. I walked to CVS over the weekend, which is not my pharmacy. I walked up to the prescription counter with a new prescription for the drops. I didn’t fulfill that one. I look down though and there was abundance at my feet. Two dimes were on the floor, heads up. I had a huge spring in my step after that. I attract abundance wherever I go and things always work out for me. (Say that sentence out loud a lot and journal it.   I do.)

Much love and peace. Remember, every thought matters.